Love Hurts...
Love. Authentic, true love is indisputably a spiritual union between two souls … not between two physical beings … but between two spiritual beings. Love is a combination of a devoted friendship, a passionate love affair and an act of worship between two souls that have been drawn together. It is by no means at all, ego-driven. It is timeless, perpetual, immortal and inspirational.
From the moment we are born, we have an inherent need to belong somewhere or with someone. We embark upon a journey to find a connection our souls recognize and value. A spark that we can identify with spiritually. A place we are not sure exists, but one we long for. Love is not about the physical body, it is not a state of mind … it is far beyond anything we can understand; it is spiritual and at times, we can barely make sense of what we feel. Without realizing it, without expecting to and without intending to, we become kinder, gentler and we become selfless. We very rarely appreciate our reaction towards love and we become immensely vulnerable when we realize how extremely defenseless we become when we love so fiercely. It is almost as though we have been reluctantly placed under and blinded by a spell that we can’t break free from.
But, does love hurt? Can that, that makes us feel so wanted, desired and needed eventually hurt us?
When we love so powerfully and so spiritually, we succumb unreservedly to a connection. We give up so much of ourselves as we evolve into someone deserving of a love such as this. We become vulnerable and often, we lose our dependence as we choose to emerge wholly into such a love affair. When we are rejected, our hearts shatter, our souls are tainted and our egos are severely bruised. We struggle to recover from rejection as we begin a brand-new journey to mend the devastated fragments of what remains. We LOVE to LOVE. We have LOVED someone who perhaps, did not love us in the same way. We have surrendered ourselves to someone whom we placed all our faith in. We trusted someone enough to take care of what was delicate inside of us. We question ourselves and what we might have done that caused someone to reject us. We doubt all that we thought we knew about ourselves and we blame the things we did, or didn’t do. In the process, we become lesser versions of ourselves. That hurts. We’ve made mistakes. That hurts. We chose someone else above everything else that once mattered. That hurts. We were faithfully devoted to only one. That hurts. We weren’t love back. That hurts. We’ve evolved into someone we barely recognise in the hopes of being worthy for someone else. It was not enough. That hurts. We were rejected. That hurts.
We spend our lives loving someone so completely, and when they love us back, it does not hurt at all.
We are happier because of that. We are content. We are wanted. But, when a great love dies, it crushes us entirely. In one moment, we have lost our forever. We’ve lost our happily ever after. We’ve lost our fairy tale. We have lost all that was once so familiar to us. We’ve lost our partners and our best friends. We have lost all that was normal and all that was beautiful in our lives. In an instant, life is unfinished; it can never come full circle. In the midst of a spiritual love affair, it abruptly ends. A love is lost … forever. That hurts. Memories become painful. That hurts. Small arguments in the past, come back to haunt and torment us. That hurts.
We engage in an inner battle with ourselves while we are dazed by all the what-if’s. That hurts. We are suddenly left to pick up all the fragmented pieces around us, alone. That hurts. We try to carry on and remain strong without that one great love. That hurts. We long and yearn for that someone every single day. That hurts. Our dreams to grow old with someone is lost for an eternity. That hurts. The loneliness. That hurts. The silence that deafens us. That hurts. Facing mutual friends. That hurts. A family broken by a devastating loss. That hurts. Making decisions on our own. That hurts. Leaving a home once shared with a loved one. That hurts. Becoming independent and finding your place in a world you no longer recognise, that hurts. Knowing we will never feel a spiritual connection with another, ever … that hurts.
The only thing in the world that doesn’t hurt … is love.
